HORMONES

Wow...so this weekend was crazy for me personally because of...HORMONES! God I don't mean to be gross but I'm going to be real, so I'm not on my period but I've been crying like no business. Now on a very honest note and I'm trying to look tough or strong its just how I am...I don't cry easy and if it is. I cry for maybe 2 to 5 mins and its just like 3 tears max! But as I was in my friend's room getting ready to take a nap (cus were in college and party hard and we get up early too we needed a rest at some point)

Anywho they are all taking naps and while I'm trying to nap I just start crying, mind you I almost cried while we were in the subway (wish they don't know so shhh its our secret :3) but really I was sobbing and snot was coming out and I was silently sobbing it was soo sad. Even sadder that I'm writing it

Sucker Punch

 

http://suckerpunchmovie.warnerbros.com/


Ok this Movie is like been my obsession lately and last night I went to see it.And it was amazing and a epic mind fuck [you've got to see it]. It has a beyond interesting story line, awesome music and incredible scenes and action. I was blowin away by the action and scenes. To add to that Zack Snyder the director of 300 and Watchmen did I N C R E D I B L E job at bring this story to life. It is definitely a movie I will have to see again, but from what I saw, it was a movie I will come to love and be one of my favorites too.

Comic Con 2011 and Cosplays

Ok if you guys haven't notice I like the Asian culture and in my bio it mentions the I'm a "Otaku" which in Japanese it means "house" or "nerd". And its often associated with Anime Lovers and Enthusiasts.  Negatively seen as a nerd who stays in their houses all day watching anime and has no life and just a weirdo. Which if that's what I am then yeah I'm a OTAKU, but as you guys can see I'm not that. Anyway so as a Otaku in New York of course I'm going to COMIC CON 2011 [already got my pass 4 days son [laugh out loud] I'm a G] 

But anywho I am going and I'm already working on my cosplays and my first one is Akatsuki Sakura and I got the contacts and headband already. So I'm getting there little by little [laugh out loud] and I'm going let you all know and update you on my process step by step [laugh out loud] 

This is what I need for Akatsuki Sakura

Top:

Shorts:

Akatsuki Cape:

Gloves:

Sandals:

Pink Wig:

Anti Leaf Village Headband: BOUGHT

Pink Obi Sash/Scarf:

Green Contacts: BOUGHT

Total:2/7

Akatsuki Sakura [this is the version I'm doing]

HIM + MY HEART=?

My heart feels conflicted…and my mind can’t guide it either. Down the right path hell my mind as well as I do not even know what is the right path I care for him more than I have anyone before in my life…at this point in time. But it seems like or not even that it IS that he doesn’t care for me in that way …Or like I care for him in the slightest And since his feelings aren’t like my mine, Probably not even close to mine I have to block myself; guard my chest, which protects my heart With a big brick wall that no one can penetrate even if they tried their fucking hardest.

But putting up that bloody fucking wall doesn’t make my heart any less conflicted Doesn’t make it any easier not to want to give him My all…show him all my feelings and express everything I feel within my heart It doesn’t change the fact that I’m always confused bout how I should acted Especially when in front of him so he never “sees me sweat” ha Never truly sees my weak spot, Even though I know he isn’t the type to take advantage of it Still…he can’t see me like that…he won’t fucking see me like that At least I hope I haven’t shown him that side of me But it hurts so much for me not to completely express myself Let go completely and not have to hold back anything I feel so bottled up…so caged like those birds in the pet shop Just waiting to spread their wings and fly once again with not only their wings but with their hearts too

See I have to guard my heart so tightly and put myself on such lock down, because …My heart used to not be whole once before But that changed and that pain is no more. However I’m willing by any circumstances to go backwards So I’m too afraid to go back go; back to where I was before A dark place that I shouldn’t have been in, or never taking one step in But since the pain I felt before hurt so much and I allowed in doing so much damage to me Especially when it wasn’t even for the person I lost…the love I might of lost hahaha What love is what I’m thinking bout now as I look back?

HA No it was because I was rejected by a total fucking douche Who wasn’t really worth my fucking time in the first place? So if that put me in a dark place, dark ass space what going to happen When I let go and know that it isn’t the rejection that hurts …But it’s the very fact that I can’t be with him, or at least try it once? I don’t think a mere six months will cure that at all this time around And this time my heart with be not just incompletely Hell its really going to split down the middle this time And break…Cus I’ve never felt this way before never fucking ever It scares me so fucking much that I’m into him so much Like him so much…that everyday I spend with him… I find something that I love about him that makes me like him even more

When that happens I’m thinking, “Shit, why lord why? Why am I so?

"Statistics" By Lyfe Jennings

I  L O V E the Lyrics for this song...soo true for some *cough cough* most males

Alright alright alright yall settle down settle down settle down.

If you don’t know where you are this is STATISTICS 101

and I’m your teacher LYFE JENNINGS in the flesh baby.

Books out. Let’s go!

25% of all men are unstable

25% of all men can’t be faithful

30% of them don’t mean what they say

and 10% of the remainin’ 20 is gay

That leaves you a 10% chance of ever findin’ your man

That means you better pay attention to these words that I say

I’m gonna teach you how expose the 90% and show you what to do to keep the other 10.

Chorus: RULE #1 Don’t be a booty call, 

If he don’t respect you girl he gon’ forget you girl,

NOW 2

If he’s in a relationship 

And he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you.

RULE 3 

Tell him that you’re celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he gon’ have to work for it.

RULE 4 

Be the person you wanna find

Don’t be a nickel out here lookin’ for a dime.

STATISTICS!

15% of all men got a complex

15% of all men dont practice safe sex

20% of them are from homes without a father

so there’s a 50/50 chance that you’ll marry a coward

Something to think about when you’re takin’ a shower

Something to swallow when you drank your bottled water

I’m gonna teach you how to expose the 90%

and show you what to do to keep the other 10

Chorus:

RULE #1 

Don’t be a booty call, 

If he don’t respect you girl he gon’ forget you girl,

NOW 2

If he’s in a relationship 

And he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you.

RULE 3 

Tell him that you’re celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he gon’ have to work for it.

RULE 4 

Be the person you wanna find

Don’t be a nickel out here lookin’ for a dime.

Be patient! He’s waiting!

You don’t gotta settle for that

Leave all that stress alone!

Get you a backbone!

Stop being sorry for yourself!

Chances make champions

It’s gonna take (patience)

Time is still (wastin’)

Don’t be a booty call

If he don’t respect ya girl he gon forget ya girl

RULE 2 

If he’s in a relationship

If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

RULE 3 

Tell him that you’re celibate

and if he wants some of your goodies he gon’ have to work for it.

RULE 4 

Be the person you wanna find

Don’t be a nickel out here lookin’ for a dime.

STATISTICS!

STATISTICS!

STATISTICS!

Appearance is Pointless?

Why bother to look a certain way…
When no one notices.
No one cares.
It’s pointless…a waste of time.
Because all that preparation…thought…and concentration into your dress
leads to nothing but…
Disappointment and pain
And keeps you questioning
Why bother,why care?
What other insignificant souls think about you

Takes a second glance on how dolled up you are today?
But still no matter how much proof

I’ve laid out for you right here case end point
You still get up in the the morning and dress to impress

Why A**hole?

You say to me that your really sorry. Sorry for “pushing me away”…Huh? Your not sorry for playing me, not sorry for thinking my feelings are a joke, not even sorry enough to admit you had feelings for me or that you still care bout me and you can’t give me what I want. Like really how dare you…how dare you try to say you wanna be my “friend” you’ve but me through hell for the last 2 years. Fuck I’ve put myself through hell, because of you. Because I love you…with all my heart no matter all the shit you’ve done. My dumbass still loves you, God I question why did it have to be him to steal my heart. Why am I so despite and foolish to believe he would return the feelings?

Besides that how can you have the balls to talk to just ask if I still like you, why did I like you…

Fashion Philosophy of Aiya

You know I wanna be a fashion designer not, because I love fashion only or dress nice or on the newest trend's dick or because I like being better than everybody. I wanna be a designer, because I wanna bring back the fact that as designers were artists just like a painter or a photographer or film maker...and in art you should be free to do w/e the fuck you feel like and create whatever you feel like. Express yourself however you want not have to answer to anyone. I wanna take the snooty people out of this industry and bring back a group of people who see fashion as art. Make Fashion into a art form not a group of pretentious uptight group of elitists dictating what people should but give people options to how you can express yourself through your clothing.

E...and ends with a R

You know I say often that I wish I never meant you, but I meant you for a reason…I guess. What think I gained from meeting you has taught me a lesson and gave me tough skin

A Thought

You know what let me be honest I’m hurt…I’m still hurt and I might be hurt for a minute, please don’t ask me why and don’t worry bout me, because I’m strong and I’ll get through it…but for now let me hurt with no questions asked…I’ll be ok

Japanese Punk

 

Japanese Punk is another fashion scene I've been into for awhile, its very close to typical and regular 

punk, because even though it has its deconstruction, but its a little bit cleaner and more constructed

compare to typical punk. Also it has a lot more variety than British Punk.There are of course many more differences but that's why I gave y'all some examples so here you go

Anime Oldies

Anime Boys we all know and L O V E

Ulzzang

Ulzzang is a new fashion craze that I have been into lately for lack of better word to explain what "Ulzzang" is, is the Korean version of "Gyrau/Gal" fashion. Except they are very cute, have big eyes (usually obtained by circle lens) and with more layers just to be brief. 

Below are some images to better explain:

Lonesome

"Lonely" adj. : sad because one has no friends or company
That word can not even describe how I feel right now

I've had "friends" not be there for me henceforth why I don't trust them often
So I try not to depend on them...even though sometimes I do get my hopes up

And think "Maybe this one will come through this time...maybe they'll be there for me"
I'm proven wrong everytime...til the point that one day I will actually mean
"Fuck Friends"

But this time someone more important than my friends have betrayed me
Left me to hurt and ache more than I did before
Left me alone to cry in a bathroom
Trying to silence my sobs

My mother

The person who is suppose to be there always to hold me and let me cry til I can't anymore
Who tells me everything is going to be alright
Who loves me and listens to me no matter what
The person I should never have to worry about making me ache

But I guess that's not my mother

My mother is a woman wrapped so much in her feelings
That she can't see
That the daughter she misses sooo much
Is hurting and all that can make her better


Is a hug from her mommy and a movie
That's all
Til she gets that she'll be bitter and short
Pissed and fussy...and just want to get to Saturday

Sadly her mum doesn't get that
Instead her mum just thinks she's using her again
Like she every really has

And instead of joy all they both feel is...

Sad
Empty
And worst than Lonesome

Final Exam 1

First exams took 15 mins max that shit wasn't hard at all I think I got a good grade but I don't wanna jinx so I'll keep my mouth shut.

But what is making go a little bonkers is the bloody fact that this professor is keeping us here longer. I feel like she's mad and I really want to get up and leave and go home and get my stuff together for the week and move on. [damn I had a british accent for a second what's going on mates?] But she's here discussing with us our papers

"excuse me ms. we are all running on 2hrs of a sleep and would like to go back to sleep please"

Crazy Man Crazy -_-


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Ericsson Pl,New York,United States

PICTURES OF ME BEING UBBER BORED

Insanely bored in my room

Am I pretty

My "pout" face [laugh out loud]

"Cheesy" Face

hmm...I think I'm kool

I didn't love my make-up that day

Messin with my tongue ring...well its really a barbell

being random

The Journey To 7 Eleven

So I was chilling with my girls working on this blog and my friend Medina was like "Yo do y'all want to go to 7 Eleven and get a Slurpee" And of me and my girls were like..."hmm yea [laugh out loud]" So from there we went on a journey...into the night that we will never forget.

So first we live in Brooklyn and we've never been to the 7 Eleven here and my dumbass friend decides we should walk to the 7 Eleven instead of taking the subway down there. Which in my opinion was the stupidest thing by far that she has done. So were walking at it's 1:28am and their is no one on the streets what so ever besides cars and I'm thinking "This is really not a good look at all" So as we reach one of the corners and this guy ran up on us and look like he was running for danger...so my Medina stops to hear him out just in case it was something important. This guy was like "I'm running from a midget with no legs and he is bullying me I need you guys to accompany across the street seriously I need y'all help" I almost got hit by a car, because this guy is I N S A N E and I was seriously scared for my life no joke. Now my friend Medina and the RA Luis who says he's not out friend's [which is another blog, but he's kool] were laughing their ass all kool bout, were me my friend's Wendy and Steph were all together walking fast and linked  by the arms in the back of the group paranoid as hell. Mind you this dude then ran down 3 blocks too...in the same direction we were going -_-

Luis and Medina were talking bout "if this nigga come back, they gonna run and all this shit"and my friend Steph is no athlete [not in the sense that she was fat, but she can't run for shit] so she was saying if he came up to her or grabbed her she would be like "Take me now!!!" and I was like "Push come to shove I'm dragging your ass" so we pass him one more time and he don't say shit to us at all. We count our blessings and kept walking.Once we got to the street we were suppose to go to we then realized we had no idea where the 7 Eleven was. We ask people in Dunkin Dounts...they didn't know. Then we asked the guy in the deli...he had no idea. We even asked cops and they still didn't know. And even better everyone forgot their fones...but Moi :3

But we didn't know the address and when we did find it out we found out it was in the opposite direction. So we decide to then go to the one on 37th street were Wendy and I have been before and thought was 24/7. From that point we hopped on the train and took to 34th street, were I realized that it was St. Patty's Day...and like 50% of the people on the train were drunk and on top of that my girl, Medina is well friendly and loud. So the guy across of us was really getting to her convo and she was just letting him in. And in my head I was thinking "Damn here we go again lets not hope he's a weirdo" Lucky he wasn't and he wasn't too drunk making the ride somewhat pleasant. However once we got off the train not soo much.

We get off the train and cross the street and this guy is dancing to "You're a Jerk" and my friendly friend Medina starts "rejecting" and he like runs over to her and she starts walking towards her and he starts following her. Now remember my girl Steph who doesn't run, well lets say girlfriend was in front of the pack by the time we were all together and away from him. Were walking down the block and then me and Wendy see the treasure itself...7 Eleven and its open. I jump in the air and come down a little wrong on my leg but it was all good [laugh out loud] As we were crossing the street, which we had to run cross, because the light was changing and we were afraid. And as we cross the street my girl Medina was scared by this dude who came out of nowhere and said "BOOM" and I'm srry Medina if you read my blog I was done [laugh my ass off] that was the funniest thing of the night for me.

Anywho we walked down the street to the treasure, 7 Eleven and finally got are Slurpees...and after that we headed home at 4:08am safe and sound and not followed by anyone.

T  H E    E N D

Aiya-Chan, Medina and Tasia

Wendy my Bestie

I look retard but its me in New York [Time Square]

My BG Girls

Sick to My Stomach

I'm sick to my stomach with woe and worry
With one question running through my head
Wondering what the answer will truly be
And not what my worst thought is...

But still all I can do is just think the worst
Just prepare prepare prepare
For the blow that I feel is going to come
The blow of utter rejection and my worst fear come true

I'm nauseous and on the venge of fainting
From all this built up tension and nerves inside
That add on to the normal pressures of a Junior in High School
I just can't wait to ask my question of most importance
That would release my penting tension and stress

But at the same time I worry about the answer.
And whether I'll be jumping for joy inside ...
Or crying and wanting to just die inside.
All I know though is the tension and the nerves built up inside well just fade
And with the woe and the worries it will all be just a distant memory
Whether it be good or bad.

Natsuki [5/21/10]

Eyes half open

Mind semi on

Off to dreamland in an instance 

If i shut my eyes..just for a second

I'll be gone

Shut 

They closed...my eyes

Even though they closed I'm still awake

Still semi here, wherever here is

The real world

I guess

Not drifting from cloud to cloud 

Of sugary goodness 

that can only exisit in my dreams

...inside my little big world

The only thing that's changed is 

My eyes are closed and it's dark

Mind is still floating

Thoughts

Ideas

Questions 

And contradictions

All just floating...and overflowing 

All of this up in the air in my head

And with all that space 

I can't believe it's overflowing

Leaking from

...everywhere there is a hole

Ha holes (laugh out loud)

But it's overflowing

I don't know what to do

First thing that comes my mind 

release

Release it all

Lift the switch and open the door 

But ha to nerveous 

Too damn scared to say 

To deal with the consequences 

Of the words 

that I would be transporting 

To the ones it concerns

Too damn afriad that I'll hurt them

To afriad that my words really...

...are like daggers

Rather than soft lilies

Even more afriad that I'll lose them

People speak that bullshit 

that true friends

...people you love never leave

But then again 

maybe not many of the people I call

"true friends"

Are that by definition

And if so then they'll leave... 

Even though from that I know alone I meant nothing to them. 

For them to be that soft that weak just cus of my honesty.

But still it will hurt and make me sad for a while...a long while to get over 

So Instead of speaking my mind

I'll just keep quiet n stay with in the shadows hiding a part of me once again

And just exploded when I can't hold anymore 

Be spread all over 

Start fresh again

I'm use to this routine

But as of now I'm still semi here

Mentally 

Emotionally

Physically 

Just half here 

Eyes now half shut

Cus it's too dark

And keeping them shut

Doesn't do anything

Shit

They're shut

I'm gone

Sakura’s Cage [5/26/10]

Bits and pieces
Shades and tints
Only little hints
Is really all you get

When it comes to I
And who u really see behind the mask

But bits and pieces
Tiny little glimpses into the large space
That is me is all you get

All you ever get to see...all that's allowed of me

Maybe all you ever wanted to see

But you never get to see it all and everything
Because what little I show seems to be enough
Or you just don't care to see it all
So you decide to limit me...cage me
Through my eyes at least that's how I see it

But I do know in all actuality that it's I
who puts those shackles on
or let others put them on me

Those damn limiters

Ha how ironic, right?
I'm a slave to all that I meet
Haha how ironic

I've even started putting them on myself...haha
How obedient am I but people love to say that I'm not

But whatever

Regardless of how who or why I feel caged
It doesn't change the fact of how chained down I feel
How restricted

I feel ...so fucking tied down and not able to fly
Plain and straight out...
So annoyed that i can't be my fucking self

Or so annoyed of the thought that people won't like it

Whether people like it love it or hate it
Shouldn't matter one bit

I've got to cut the obedient shit and be rebillious as much as I fucking want

Do whatever I fucking want
Say fuck you to whoever don't like it
And "just do me" haha

That's the only way I'll bust out of my cage
Cus the key is me...not caring anymore
The physical key is in my pocket
Just waiting for me to take it out and unlock the next level

...cus life is nothing but a game
With levels you climb until u reach the final battle
and win it all
So this bullshit isn't going to keep me
From winning the game called life

Ha...Cus cages are for bitches

Piecring Junkie Am I

So piercings have been my thing all my life, but having strict black parents the idea of piercings was not a option at all...unless it was in my ear. I mean my mum is strict all you very much a artsy hippie with a street edge to her. Despite that she wasn't keen on the idea of me getting piercings ever or tattoos. So when I asked her and was up front bout it, because I was a scene kid when I was 15 and every scene kid had a lip piercing or snakebites. And as a a scene girl whose black, not a twig and has short hair I needed something. Since my mum is kool and all but crazy as shit so I had to ask first, because she would have ripped it out.

So I asked and she said..."no" because I had a job that didn't allow facial piercings and she didn't like the idea of it on my face. So then I tried a alternative when I was 17...a Industrial piercing. Which for those of you who may not know [pshhh...and their are people who do so don't be ashamed] A "industrial piercings" sometimes called scaffold piercing (UK/IRL) or construction piercing, is any two pierced holes connected with a single straight piece of jewelry. And since my mum had cartilage piercings she was like "Sure I'll let you get that for my 18th birthday"...and let me tell you what happened on my 18th birthday...NOTHING!!!! My birthday came and went and so did my senior year and guess what NO PIERCINGS WHAT-SO-EVER.

 So since I went to school in the Summer after I got my State I.D. the first thing I got pierced was my lip in August and I got snakebites. Then a month later it was my industrial. Then bout six months later I got my tongue pierced. And as of two weeks ago I got my helix/cartilage piercings. Adding on to my 4 earlobe piercings I had for 2 years and first earlobe I have since I was a babe.


And the funny shit is...I'm not even done. I love having my piercings...and love getting the rush when getting pierced is like a fucking drug for me [laugh out loud] I mean I will eventually move on to tattoos but for now I'm a Piercing Junkie and P R O U D

Review: Remington Pearl Curling Wand

Remington Pearl Curling Wand

So I love this curling iron...its my new favorite curling iron for sure, at least right now. This curling iron gives you tight ass curls like no joke man [laugh out loud] or girl...??? Anywho...it gives you tight curls or waves depending on what you like and where you place you hair on the barrel. Meaning if you place your hair at the tip of the barrel your curls or waves will be very tight and small, but EXTREMELY TIGHT. If you place you hair further down at the barrel [if the wand is held upright] then you curls or waves will be full and loose. All in all you will have curls that stay in all day [not sure though because I do have weave in] but with some hair spray its should be good son [laugh out loud]

Anywho this curling iron its  G R E A T and I love love love it!!! especially since my curls are way soft and last for days. Now you might be concerned with the fact that it has no clamp and how do you get your hair on it and all that jazz. But not to fear the curling wand came with a cotton glove that you can use to wrap your hair around the barrel. If further understanding is need I'll hook you up with a video...If anybody reads my blog :'( and comments and follows me [so hint you should do that if your reading this]. All in All I love this product and will have pictures up tomorrow to show you how it works on my hair

Thanks for Reading
P E A C E

AiyaChanDoll

Review:TIGI Bed Head Sulfate-Free Foxy Curl Shampoo and Conditioner

Ok first off I L-O-V-E TIGI Bed Head Sulfate-Free Foxy Curl Shampoo and Conditioner. This s*** is da s***. So I have weave in right now, because I'm trying to get off the creamy crack i.e. perms. So on to the review my weave lately has been hard, nasty and tangle point blank. So I thought I needed to try something new and I saw something that said "Sulfate-Free".
 Which if you didn't know for weave you should not use sulfate shampoos or shampoo that has "Sodium Laureth Sulfate" because it dries out the hair and damages the weave. So I thought while in Target this is something I need to try and I did. And it was I N C R E D I B L E! Not only did it make my weave hair soft and pretty much tangle-free [but not completely] but it made my natural hair really soft and silky and shiny too. Making this product amazing!!!

Starting A Blog for The First Time...Introduction

Hmm....Well to start hey my name...the real one is Jada but I prefer to just be called Aiya. I'm blogging for a view reason and here's why.

1. Since I have no life and I want to talk and complain just, because I can

2. My teachers suggested I make one because I'm a fashion student 

3. To spread my new found love of hair and makeup 

4.  Discuss Anime...because I'm a Otaku!!!

5. And to help young girls and women however I can in whatever way I can. BEING A OTAKU FEMALE VOICE TO ALL!!!

So please read my blog and do whatever people do on blogs, I guess comment 

OHHHH!!! also look out for my youtube channel and my amigas channel [OMGitsBGTV] once we start filming 

AiyaChanDoll: http://www.youtube.com/user/AiyaChanDollTV

OMGitsBGTV: http://www.youtube.com/OMGitsBGTV