Lonesome

"Lonely" adj. : sad because one has no friends or company
That word can not even describe how I feel right now

I've had "friends" not be there for me henceforth why I don't trust them often
So I try not to depend on them...even though sometimes I do get my hopes up

And think "Maybe this one will come through this time...maybe they'll be there for me"
I'm proven wrong everytime...til the point that one day I will actually mean
"Fuck Friends"

But this time someone more important than my friends have betrayed me
Left me to hurt and ache more than I did before
Left me alone to cry in a bathroom
Trying to silence my sobs

My mother

The person who is suppose to be there always to hold me and let me cry til I can't anymore
Who tells me everything is going to be alright
Who loves me and listens to me no matter what
The person I should never have to worry about making me ache

But I guess that's not my mother

My mother is a woman wrapped so much in her feelings
That she can't see
That the daughter she misses sooo much
Is hurting and all that can make her better


Is a hug from her mommy and a movie
That's all
Til she gets that she'll be bitter and short
Pissed and fussy...and just want to get to Saturday

Sadly her mum doesn't get that
Instead her mum just thinks she's using her again
Like she every really has

And instead of joy all they both feel is...

Sad
Empty
And worst than Lonesome